Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Warm Fuzzy Feelings
My sister said something to me that touched my soul today. She said while referring to a husband, "If I can find someone that I love as much as I love you, then I'll have a very happy life." It is hard for me to explain this but hopefully someone can relate. Some days it's hard to feel loved and appreciated. That's just life and there is really no way around it. I am so thankful for the people in my life who know me well enough and care enough to bring me back to reality when I am feeling overwhelmed or unspecial. Ed and I probably say "I love you" around 4 times every day (in the morning when we leave each other, during the day sometimes over text or phone, after work, before going to sleep, and sometimes a random one thrown somewhere in there) BUT, sometimes I still feel overlooked. *Take note that I am not blaming anyone for this but myself and I especially am not blaming Ed*. I am one who loves compliments. That may sound really superficial or immature but really, it's just the way I am. Sometimes I don't even care if it's a fake compliment, I usually still feel good. I like to be noticed. Like today when I did the dishes and folded the clothes and Ed called me a Suzzie Homemaker even though I'm so far from that it is'nt even funny. Things like this make my day. My days are pretty similar to each other: wake up, job #1, come home to change, job #2, come home, dinner, some nights swim, watch friends with husband, go to sleep. Sometimes I get chlaustrophobic with this lifestyle (and yes I did just have to look up how to spell that word) but sometimes I need to just sit on the front lawn for a while so it feels like I'm doing something different. And something that I realized today is that while I am feeling this "unimportant feeling" , I am probably causing others around me to feel those same feelings because I am so focused on myself. Comments like the one Tess said to me today make me happy, they make me want good things for others instead of doting on myself, and most importantly they urge me to love others so that they can feel these same good feelings as me. It made me think of how much I love my husband and my family and my friends. Just as Tess wants, I did find someone that I love just as much as I love my sister. My Edward is an amazing man. Saturday will be our one year anniversary. To think we have been married for a year is so crazy. But boy am I glad! I hope this post came across as loving instead or complaining. We will be in Burley, Idaho for the weekend for Ed's all-time favorite triathlon, The Spudman! He got second last year so we are hoping for top three again this year. Anyway, I love my sister and my husband, my parents, in-laws, best friends. Thank you to all of you who have made my day better by being there for me.