Summer Recap

It's been a while, so I'm about to just blab.

Today was our first day in our new SINGLES WARD! That's right, Ed got called as the second counselor in the bishopric of a BYU singles ward. At first I was dreading it, but after going today I think it will actually be a lot of fun and I will probably make a lot of new friends.

We just got back from GA on Friday. It was a blast and it sucks to have to go back to real life again. The best thing about being there is my house. It feels so peaceful to me. I can wail on my piano, sit on the porch swing during a rainstorm, stare at the pond in silence listening to cicadas and frogs, and zone out riding in the car gawking at green everywhere. I will always love Georgia.

I am slightly freaking out about grad school. Enough said.

Before Georgia was the Christenson reunion. I survived doing the 1 mile swim in the river for Spudman and got closer with a few of Ed's siblings. We also had a testimony meeting together that was so great and I got to see another tender side of the family, which I loved.

We have been married 3 years now. We rock. 

Tess comes home from Africa tomorrow and I can't wait to see her cornrows and have her here in Utah with me! 

We have successfully watched 4 seasons of Breaking Bad and a lot of Olympics on our down time. 

I have had a chance to reconnect with several friends in the last few weeks and it has really motivated me to be a better friend. I want to serve my friends and show them that I care about them instead of relying on them to build me up.

Eating healthy starts tomorrow. Be good this time around, Amanda.

Our landlord tried kicking us out for having a cat. Two years late and this guy can SUCK IT. We're staying and that's that. Unless anyone knows of a place in Provo under $700 that allows cats!???

That's all for now. I love my Edward, my Kona, and my Pearl. I love our crappy apartment. I love our new ward, single and excited about life. I love that I am blessed to be at BYU. I love my friends new and old. I love that Ed loves me. I love that we have fun together every single day without fail. I love being truly happy for other people's successes. I love places and people that bring me joy. And I love the gospel.

Ed looks beyond cute in this picture. 

Noteworthy from Africa

My sister, Tess, is in Africa and has been sending emails about her experience. These are a few segments from her I wanted to share. 

"Yesterday, we visited with Martha, an albino who fights for albino rights in Tanzania. They are considered a curse here and witch doctors target them. People hunt them down and chop off their limbs to grind up in a stew. then kill them afterwards. They think it brings them wealth. It's sickening. Kate and I met with Martha yesterday and she was telling us how hard of a time she is having. She is going to lose her job for being albino, which means she will have no money to help the other albinos. This is a dang strong woman, but when I gave her a hug, she started crying, which was too much for me. I didnt want to cry  in front of her, but the moment her taxi pulled away, I sat down and couldn't help it. Here's the amazing thing: I'm sitting on the ground crying like a baby, when a car pulls up and Martha gets out. She came over just to comfort me,  hugging me and saying, "I know. I know." That is the woman she is. With so many problems, she still stopped her taxi to make sure we were okay."

"The people of Africa are so giving, cheerful, friendly, faithful and gracious. They have such a different way of life. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I hate it, but in the end, I have found that we are all so very human, regardless of where we are born. Our environment HUGELY affects our outlook on social issues and the way we live our everyday lives, but people are people. We all have our secret struggles and insecurities. We are all just trying to do the best we can with what we have. Coming here and really getting to know the good and bad of people has made the world feel much much smaller. NOBODY is perfect, but we ALL have good in us. That's such a gift from God. Everyone has something good to offer. The children of Africa always blow me away with their love and innocence. Anytime they receive a gift or treat, they immediately return to the other children and share among them."

And this one's funny: 

"I'm sure I have mentioned before that Africans have less of a personal bubble. That doesn't bother me, but the teacher at Your Sisters orphanage just crosses the line. She will talk to me so close that her lips are rubbing on my face and she strokes my leg and she kept pretending to try to breast-feed me! Yeah, super awkward. I'm a little scared of her, so now I kinda just avoid her."

What!? I'm baffled by that, how does one adult pretend to breastfeed another adult? 

And here's the picture of the day. They are best friends, they just don't realize it yet :)  

meet little miss Pearl

There has been a lot of stalking, hissing, growling, batting with paws, and even play biting around here between Kona and her new play toy. But then there's the brief cuddles and the recent motherly cleaning of Pearl's fur (cutest thing I've ever seen Kona do). 

We love these two. 

Screw our most hated neighbors and landlord for finally trying to kick us out for having a pet after having Kona for two years. That just shows how inefficient they are right? Two full years!

Happy fourth of July on Wednesday. We will be grilling everything under the sun and can't wait.

completely babbling all to say welcome home, Kona

Ed went to San Francisco and loved it. I spent last week with Kelli, Hetty, and Grace, thank goodness for them. We started a new quarter at Telos and it looks like it's going to be a good one. I bought some new clothes finally. My parents are in St. Martin this week, so it's really a miracle I'm even getting out of bed in the morning, go me. We are officially going to Georgia in August, hence why I have a reason to get up in the morning. Tess leaves for Africa soon. My beautiful niece, Ellie is one. It's national run day, so I'm obligated to go on a run with Tedward. I'm teaching pointe next semester and I think I'm excited about it. I just took a way-too-long nap and feel disgusted with myself. I can't believe Emily kicked off Charlie from Bachelorette. I watched Miss USA this week and loved every minute of it (childhood dream!). My eyelashes are amazing, thanks Kelli. I'm reading a book; anyone who knows me well, knows this is a full-on miracle. I am currently starving. And this post is a complete babble. 

I'm just glad this girl is home and that's all I really wanted to say.

You know the movie "Homeward Bound"? I've just been thinking about what kind of adventures Kona had in the 18 hours she was missing and how she somehow made it home. How far did she go? Did she get in a fight with another cat? Did she run across any streets? I mean, it's not the same as a group of animals finding their way home from across the country, but something big definitely happened for her to be this dirty and shaken up. I'll never know.

I wish I could post more pictures, but my camera is broken. I've got to go running now, hopefully I make it back breathing.

trying

An update on life:

We have successfully thrown away $3,000 on our car. Consequently, there will be no St. Martin, not even a trip to GA. Nothing of the sort.

As a result: I am depressed, I hate car salesmen and mechanics. I covet anyone going to or even near a beach this summer and I have lost all motivations to look good in a bathing suit. Uh oh, that's not good.

Kona is getting fat, I'm burned out on my job(s), and Ed is growing a beard.

How else can I describe our life?

*The Bachelorette started, which means fun Monday nights with my girls. Although I'm not a huge fan of Emily or her daughter tagging along.
*Ed fell in the duck pond at BYU this past Monday, so classic.
*I am really into artichokes lately. I just want to put them in everything!
*I experienced my first successful run ever and it motivated me to go again. Except that was Monday after I found out the car would be another thousand and I haven't been since. Maybe next week! (which means never) 
*I miss my parents and sister and Janie and Sam. Why didn't we move to GA for this 8 month break between school again?
*I'm coding real therapy sessions at the coding lab and let me tell you, it's sad. And so intimidating that I will be doing that next year. The therapists are so amazing, always saying the right thing. Validating everything. I don't know if I can be like that, but I'll have to try. The last one I watched I was crying right there in the lab.
*There are some crazy boys at Telos right now, but I love them. The other day I got to experience a rap battle between the two smallest, scronniest kids there (I'm talking 5 feet tall and under). I had to stop it due to a number of curse words, but it was actually pretty impressive. There is a hilarious moment like that every day at Telos.
*Let's just go through all three of my jobs, my ballet girl's recital is the week after next and they still can't remember it without me doing it in front of them. These are age 8 to 14 girls and we have been working on the dance since February! I need to work at a studio with girls who care. I love ballet, but teaching it to 22 girls who talk the whole time, didn't know a single step of ballet past plies until I taught them the rest of bar, and who walk in 45 minutes late to an hour class and announce themselves is just not the place for me.

Anyway, life is a little blah right now, but I'm trying to look on the bright side by focusing on the things that make me happy right now: Ed's beard, artichokes, avocados, and cupcakes, happy moments at work, spending time with friends, 2 in the morning decisions to go camping with Ed, Kona stalking me as always, having beautiful eyelashes thanks to Kelli, and vivid dreams of going skydiving and seeing Ed in an army uniform looking smoking hot. I'm trying to do my hair pretty so I can feel some sense of accomplishment day to day. Trying not to eat as much crap. Trying to thank Ed more. Trying to be a better friend. Trying to figure out my own insecurities and face them so I don't have to do so much when grad school starts. Trying to force myself to think about what it would be like to have a baby since it will probably have to happen after grad school, I've got another 2 years maybe more to think about it. Trying to journal more and succeeding. I'm actually thinking of writing a timeline of my life and including every memory I can think of from each year, just adding to it when I think of something. I'm trying people! Trying to do things I don't like to do and trying to do more of what I do sometimes. I could try a lot harder though. I think we all could.

I'll do that next week :)

music is a cure

i was feeling pretty down earlier today. i've been sick as a dog the last week, fever and everything. terrible. i forgot what it felt like to be sick and i do not want to feel it again. work was annoying. kona attacked me and i had to punish her by shutting her in the bathroom. had a heart to heart with ed, blahhhh. you know how those go if you've been married for a while: you always end up crying and feeling bad because you're actually telling each other the truth. the truth hurts. but then somehow later on that night you feel better because you really talked. i turned on some music and it cured me. i realized how little i listen to music these days. i just go to work and turn on the tv, no music ever. we should all have a little more music in our lives. thought i'd share.

better

sometimes you look at your life and think, what the heck am i doing? what do i need to change? what did i need to change back in high school? what did i need to change a year ago?

it's the same old crap.

when your new years resolutions are the same 5 things every year, that's the light bulb that you're not accomplishing anything you really want to be accomplishing.

sure, you're doing other stuff: graduating from college, working,  gaining life experience, cooking more dinners...blah, blah, blah, more meaningless undertakings of daily life. not that those are meaningless, but nothing's being done about YOU.

at the risk of sounding depressed, i'm going to finish this post. whatever, we all feel like this sometimes right? i hope so. plus, i hate blogs that are always problem-less. sorry, but people don't live their lives like that. 

take action. you're always saying, "i'll do that sometime. i'll work on myself later when i have time."

THIS IS THE TIME. 

life is only going to get crazier. i want to be a better wife. a better friend. a better sister and daughter. eventually a better parent, therapist, grandparent. and the whole time, it all stems back to being a better individual. that sounds loopy and confusing. i'm saying, we've got these personal problems stashed in the back of our minds: self-image, confidence, anxiety, selfishness, laziness, jealousy, pride, etc. it's all different for each of us, but really it's all the same. and that whole bundle of crap plays into the kind of wife, sister, daughter, friend, parent you are. so push everything out of the way and for once, accomplish one thing to better yourself. ask for help. accomplish a goal. pray about it. study it out. put it at the forefront of your mind. you don't want to look back a year from now again and have nothing checked off your list.

life is great, but it could be better and that's up to you. 

in the meantime, enjoy what you have. enjoy your amazing husband who tucks you into bed and watches 20 youtube videos of Jason Segel with you just because. enjoy your cat who hates you, but find the fun in being chased all around the house during the least expected times. enjoy your job. that's a hard one sometimes, but at least don't be wishing there's a real fire when you're out on the lawn because of a drill so you don't have to go back again to another day. enjoy this basement apartment with four different types of ceilings and the worst neighbors (who are now your landlords, joy). enjoy friends who are always there for you to vent and laugh with. enjoy the student life of hole-in-the-wall chinese and bike rides as a source of fun. there is a lot to be happy about. i have a great life and i'm so so lucky. but it's up to me to make something more of this and to improve myself. at least for the benefit of others around me.

i just took a deep breath. i'm fine. i'm writing this purely for myself as a vent and a motivator, but i bet i'm not alone in these thoughts. 

stand a little taller, people.